In these instances, the best thing you can do is to focus on your behavior and remain faithful to your commitment to live an honest, sober life. All types of amends are good, but living amends are some of the best kinds you can make! They affirm your decision to make lifelong changes, which has a positive effect on both you and everyone around you. I always thought that I had been making direct amends whenever I had injured others.
What Does Making Amends Have to Do With Sobriety?
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Challenges in The 9th Step Process
Even though they have similarities, living amends are different than making amends. While making amends is apologizing, living amends means living a completely new, sober lifestyle, and being committed to that lifestyle for both yourself and those you’ve harmed in the past. It means that you’re not just using your words to show a change, your actions are proving this change as well. Step 8 of the 12-Step Program delves deep into personal introspection, prompting individuals to confront and recognize the harm they might have caused during their time in addiction.
Challenging Steps
- Confidential helplines, like SAMHSA’s National Helpline, offer support and referrals for those navigating addiction recovery.
- Before completing step nine, the recovering alcoholic needs to be ready to deliver their message with the best intentions, not motivated by false expectations.
- It’s essential to recognize that making amends involves recognizing and admitting the harm done, which can be a tough emotional hurdle.
- Unlike direct or indirect amends, which might be one-time actions, living amends involve actively demonstrating changed behavior over time to show accountability for past actions.
- Even though we may be eager to rip the Band-Aid off and get an amend over and done with, it’s important that we are not impulsive or careless as we attempt to make amends!
- Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions explains the 24 basic principles of Alcoholics Anonymous.
Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in Drug rehabilitation seeking it because of something you have read on this website. In the event of a medical emergency, call a doctor or 911 immediately. This website does not recommend or endorse any specific tests, physicians, products, procedures, opinions, or other information that may be mentioned on the Site. Reliance on any information provided by this website is solely at your own risk. You can’t expect everything to go perfectly when you try to do it for the first time, but keep trying. And even though you might still make some mistakes along the way, don’t let them discourage you from making amends in future situations where appropriate.
The Meaning of Amends in Step 9
It’s critical to remember that amends are more than apologies; they signify understanding, remorse, and a commitment to change. You demonstrate an awareness of your past actions and their consequences and a heartfelt commitment to mitigating these harms. There are situations where making an amend might cause more harm than good. Assess whether making amends might cause additional harm to the other person involved. For example, contacting someone you’ve harmed may exacerbate their distress, especially in severe cases like drunk driving. Expressing genuine remorse and even regret for living amends the pain caused is a key element.
- Leach is said to have gathered information for the book by asking for input from many AA members who had long-term sobriety.
- We also provide regular drug and alcohol testing, professional peer recovery support programming, a three phase recovery program, volunteer placement services, and employment and educational support.
- Give each other space to figure out any new roles within your relationship and take things slowly.
- It’s a significant stride towards your personal recovery, letting you make peace with your past and stepping forward into a brighter future.
- While doing our amends and experiencing being forgiven, we begin to see the value in extending it to others.
Contacting this person to make amends might disrupt their tranquility or even cause emotional turmoil. But what’s paramount in making amends is the spirit of reconciliation and restoration, a genuine commitment to make things right. It’s about demonstrating, through actions, your understanding of the harm caused and your sincere intention to mitigate it. Within the context of Step 9, making amends goes beyond mere apologies.
Alcoholics Anonymous (AA)
- You will lessen the impact of your amends if you water it down with excuses and external blame.
- Step 9 advises against making amends if it risks additional harm to the other party.
- How blessed we are to become free from our past, and given the gift to help free another.
- Step 9 is an act of courage and an integral step toward your recovery.
- It’s an opportunity for healing and personal growth, fostering patience, sincerity, and openness.
- As time passes, more of your mistakes might be revealed, and you’ll realize you still have messes to clean up.
John’s goal is to monitor every department to ensure proper policies and procedures are in place and client care is carried out effortlessly. John joined Amethyst as a behavioral health technician where he quickly developed strong personal relationships with the clients through support and guidance. John understands first hand the struggles of addiction and strives to provide a safe environment for clients. Whether or not you’re intimately familiar with the Twelve Steps of AA, you’ve probably heard of Step Nine.
- Direct, face-to-face amends are encouraged to facilitate genuine healing.
- Step 8 of AA is primarily about forgiveness — making peace with others and yourself.
- They were created by the founders of Alcoholics A… More to rectify and mend broken bonds.
When and Why Do People Make Living Amends?
This rectification might involve restitution — financial compensation for loss, returning items, or dedicating time and effort to help those you’ve harmed. It could also mean challenging your past patterns of behavior and committing to a changed way of living. You might not have been fully aware of the extent of harm caused at the time, which is why this step calls for deep self-reflection. This self-awareness will ultimately guide your steps toward making amends.
The person may not even remember the incidents in question from memory, but others may remember them quite well. What comes up may be feelings of guilt, shame, or something else entirely. The theme of making amends is forgiveness, and although it is one of the steps people may not like, it comes at this point in the AA journey for a reason. It means the person has come to a point where they are ready to move forward through this step, but it takes some finesse to do it without causing more harm to loved ones. On a similar note, the sixth and seventh steps give recovering alcoholics newfound humility in order to prevent blame, anger, or self-righteousness during their recovery.
